I have Arnold-Chiari Malformation Type I, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Degenerative Disc Disease, Fibromyalgia, Spondylosis, Arthritis in my back and neck, probably Ehlers-Danlos Type 3, and possibly Cranio-Cervical instability.
You would think that would be enough to make me second guess my body's intentions on this grand old planet, but - No; hell I have so many freaking "conditions" (let's be real here, I have ISSUES) I can't even keep track of them all. Thanks to the constant pain and the meds used to control it, compounded with the tendency to catch any bug that is floating around that the rest of my family may or may not have already suffered through and recovered from, that takes me DAYS longer (sometimes even weeks) to fully recover from, I am at my highest weight EVER.
So, let's add to all of that the disgust and hatred I feel for myself when I go to try on clothes, or get on the damn scale, just to find I am a big, fat (literally) disappointment. I am at my lowest point. Even though I would say this is rock bottom, and I have nowhere else to go but up, I have NO idea how to get there. I've tried eating healthy, my weight doesn't change (unless you count that first big loss of water weight.) I try to work out (gently AND going hard) and because of the pain and POTS (my heart rate jumps up to around 120-150 bpm just going from sitting to standing) I just can't keep at it. Well... I mean, I could, but I would injure myself.
I am beyond frustrated and utterly lost. I've tried ItWorks! (ItDoesn't!) and Medifast (let's get real, cardboard for breakfast, lunch and snacks is NOT all that appetizing.) I'm not looking for a quick solution; I want HEALTH. I want my body to treat ME right. I rarely drink soda, my mainstay drinks are water and hot tea. I can eat 1200 calories a day or 2000 and still not gain or lose a freaking POUND! Nothing seems to make a difference.
I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do anymore.
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